Rheumatoid Arthritis - my experience :)

Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is a chronic, systemic inflammatory disorder that may affect many tissues and organs, but principally attacks all the joints. About 1% of the world's population is afflicted by rheumatoid arthritis, women three times more often than men.

Last year, I was carefully handpicked into this 1% of the world's population! When I travelled to Minneapolis, US in the winter, I was all excited about my first snow fall, making a snowman, seeing the white world and taking all the snow rides. But less did I know that my life was going to change for a while (or may be forever :-/). Though my stay was all that I had dreamt of, I went back to India with a gift: Joints pain! It started with the wrist and the fingers. I thought it could be RSI because of laptop usage, took medicines, physiotherapy, but it didnt work. Changed couple of doctors, and took lot of tests at the end to realize it was RA.

When I was first diagonized, I did not take the illness (just like anything else in life) very seriously, Fine, I have a problem, I need to take medicines, I'll be alright, was my thought. My orthopaedic doctor reffered me to a Rheumatologist, Dr. Satish Kalanje in Bangalore Hospital. When I first met this doctor, he explained me what the problem looks like and the only solution to it being DMARD (Disease Modifying Anti Rheumatic Drug) which comes along with lot of side effects. But a lot of times, the disease vanishes itself within 6months, so, they will not start DMARD until the disease establishes itself. So, he put me on painkillers and asked me to go back after 3 months. The only thing I had asked him was, Can I go to my Dance Class or not, he had smiled and said, wait for sometime. (heh, I still dont know how long that sometime is!)

I was told that among lot of other side effects, while taking a particular DMARD, I was not suppose to conceive. Though I was just 8 months away from my marriage and forming a family was nowhere in to the radar, the thought of the drug having any relation to pregnancy scared me. At the same time there were a lot of people whose uncles, aunties, cousins, grannys having arthritis, who condemned the idea of taking alopathy and asked me to take Ayurvedic. So, my next step was Ayurvedic Medicine. By now, my joints pain was extended to all 3 joints in each finger, wrist, knee and back and I started living on 2 painkillers a day. the problem is very werid, if you are sitting at one position or lying down without moving, there is absolutely no problem, but the moment you move a bit, it pains.

I meet a doctor, who as all other Ayurvedic doctors, HATED English medicine. He explained, this problem is because of the cold climate and the fluid which acts as a greese between the joints gets hard during cold and that is why it opposes movement of the joints. He asked me to stop the pain killers and start with his black color golis. The pain I was having was unbearable! along with this, someone suggested start taking Neurotherapy Massage. Though while getting it done, it was giving me some relief, nothing much changed through out the day.

I had started limping, everyone in office had started noticing me and asking if I was alright. I lost 6 kgs of weight in 3 months, I used to love just lying down in the bed like a dead body, at night during sleep, I used to wakeup each time I was changing the posture, because it used to pain. When I wake up, if it is early morning, I did Pranayama and then sleep again. By now, the disease had spread itself to all possible joints in my body, including the joints at the jaw. Because of that, I was not able to chew anything hard.

My grand mother who is 87 years old, used to bend and touch her hand to the ground and tell me, you also do this, its not very difficult, I could just smile and say I cant :). I remember going to a Kamath Restuarant along with my dear friend Rao and eating set dosa. Aunty later told me, she had gone home and cried in front of her seeing me struggle to chew the dosa. I remember one day shouting at my mother for adding lot of urid dal and channa dal in upma because I couldnt chew. I sometimes wonder how I managed the dance program in office, Goa trip and Dandiya during last Navratri when I had so much pain. One thing that stands out of my memory is having panipuri with my cab gang in office Cafetaria and not able to open my mouth fully for even the smallest puri :(. I'd gone to the ladies room and cried that day :(. February was my wedding and it was November when I was still limping, not able to sit on the floor, not able to climb the stairs etc.

That was when it dawned on me, that I should get back to allopathy. thats when I realized, let me be relieved of the pain, I shall battle the side effects, and let ME survive first, and then, I can think about problems related to conceiving :). So, I went back to Dr Satish Kalanje again. Got nice scoldings from him for ignoring the disease. Last 6 months of not taking any medicines for the disease had taken its toll. The ESR count which is supposed to be 0-20 for a normal person and was 35 for me in the beginning, had gone upto 100 when I went to him. I started with Methotrexate (DMARD) in December and slowly I started recovering. By the time of my wedding, though I wasn't able to sit on the floor, I could dance happily on the DJ nite, previous day of wedding ;). I did not know being normal was so exciting :)

I dont know if i'll ever be able to go for trekking, or join back my dance class, the disease might actually come back in the winter, especially now when i'm in a colder country. But you know, I have seen the worse, so, I should be able to manage even if it gets a little bad :). Besides Parents, I owe a lot to Aunty, Rao, Nichu, Joyee, Manju and Hero for all that they are :) Thanks for being the pillars of my strength! Only those who saw me during those days, knew how I was. I feel happy when I look back, I didn't do that bad after all :)

PS: I have not exaggerated or made RA look bigger than it is. This is what is my experience has been and may be if someone is diagonized and starts the medication immediately, they will not have to go through all I did :)

life is like that!!!

Its a scary feeling, to realize that, something which we are longing for from a very long time, when it actually knocks your door, there will be a time when you would just want to run away from it ...

strange!!!

hmmph!!!

Life is full of surprises... but, never when you need one :-( !

shaadi se pehle....

No, its nothing to do with the movie, which made people enter the theatre expecting to drool over Ayesha Takia and Mallika sherawath and came out with a duhhhhhhhhh..... Here, I'm just rambling over the recent rants i've been exposed to... :-/

Khushi, its high time, you need to think about your life and you need to settle down!

They are not getting her married coz she is earning good bucks for them...

Khushi, sorry if I'm disturbing you, do you have a custom of saath phera in your marriages? Mom was asking me to get the details as your brother is least bothered about it and says ask khushi for everything...

Tell me Do you want to get married just because you are turning 28? or you want to marry for the right reason (person)?

you need to make certain compromises for having a life which you've wanted...


how does the age matter if you have the right person?

Yesterday my hubby came home very late, I'd seen a dance in TV and wanted to make him learn that... I made him learn the steps in the middle of the night, and we were doing all this till 3am in the morning :P... you know, a nice thing about carrying is, he is taking care of me just like a princess :)

how can you ask someone to marry at a gunpoint?

Dont worry deeps, someone somewhere is made for you, It cant happen overnight, its a real long process and at times you might feel really frustrated, but dont give up hopes...

after I broke up with him, I'm really worried who will marry me, khushi...

Khushi, I dont like this design of your kind of mangalsutra, I want something with diamonds, actually in our custom mangalsutra is not compulsory, do I have to wear this for my entire life??? can you ask your maushi if I can wear atleast some latest designs?

Hi Khushi, how are you? helloooo ellidyo? no news at all? you are not inviting me for you sister's wedding ha? its supposed to be next week sometime right? hmmmmmm My sister's marriage broke! what? hey, what are you telling? with so much difficulty they had convinced both the parents??? what happend? hmmm...I'll tell you the reason sometime later...

Hey, Khushi, its Feb 28th da :), his parents havent agreed yet, but we've decided on the date and he said he'll come out if they dont agree even after persuading them for the last 4 years!!!

'sach keh raha hai deewana, dil na kisi se lagana, jhute hain yaar ke vaadein saare, jhuti hain pyar ki kasme, maine har lamha jisse chaha, jisse puja, ussine yaaro mera dil toda toda, tanha tanha chodaa.....' I remember this song very much, khushi...

PD, you atleast tell Khushi, You are 2 years younger to her and you are getting married next week, why is she not thinking about her marriage? you talk to her...

Its just escapism if you think you'll sit quiet until things will fall in place, you need to work on your life...

Khushi, dont worry about marriage now da, you are very happy soul, after marriage, be it arranged or love, life changes!!! After the initial days of excitement is gone, it'll be just a routine... I'm married for 5 years now and my life revolves just around my son... I dont even remember the last time when my husband had got me even a small rose or appreciated me for anything....

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!


Out of Mind..... will be right back!!!

Sometimes...

Sometimes...
You won' t realize the light, at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching train...

hmmmph!!!
what do you do then?

Its all about money.... honey...

Cant money buy happines??



I wonder!

cant relate to the related...

They say...
height has to match...
the food we eat has to match...
the language we talk has to match...
the two should 'look' good together for the society...
rest all 'should' be compromised by 'you-know-who'... :-/

I feel...
wavelengths should be same...
interestes should match...
goals in life should be similar...
there needs to be something called 'chemistry'...
and rest all the things could be compromised by both...








hmmphhh!!!
I dont believe I cant relate to people i'm actually related to :-/

cambiamento...

Listening to birds chirping in the morning...
Searching for your favourite star in the night sky...

Chatting, laughing, loafing, having fun with friends...
Shedding tears when you give a goodbye hug...

Sharing the joy of your close ones when they accomplish something...
Stand as a shoulder when their life goes on a low key...

The Glory of getting the first job...
feeling bad when you need to leave and move on next...

Smiling at the small puppy jumping with joy on roadside...
Crying for your small kitten which was biten by a street dog...

Talking in rage about the terrorists and the dirty politicians...
Sympathizing the victims of the terrorist attack...

So many parameters influence our lives...
Seasons pass by, we move through different phases, from day to night, from light to darkness, guess the only thing which is constant throughout is CHANGE!
















we need to move on...after all.... the show must go on...

a mail???

life is like a mail.. sometimes you just dont get it....
hmm.......... guess so... :(

when it rains...it pours....

Morning starts with collecting passes for a Rock Show with a friend of mine... a joshed up morning I must say...
Breakfast plan messed coz of an 'unavoidable' call with an 'unavoidable' onsite co-ordinator...
After the call get to know that I have hell lot of work and the deadline is the same day!!... hmph!! but optimism is thy name, so start the work with a hurricane speed...
Get to know that a leave for Monday which is supposed to be one of my best friends engagement is not approved... :-... some curse to my manager... and then, work work work!!!...
5.20pm, work completed, sending a status mail to the onsite, but get to know we need to call up and 'update' him coz my PL 'assumes' that the mail is not sufficient and it'll be better if we stay back... grrrr!!! okie..
ROCK SHOW down the drain!!...
one last hope, let me make up for it by going out for a dinner... plan to leave office by 7...
get to know at 6.30 that we could call at 7 coz our PL thinks that we need not have to disturb our onsite co-ordinator as soon as he gets into office and we could call around 8.30 his time... duhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINE!!! dinner Cancelled...
Go to the conf room around 7... wait for the other side of the receiver to be picked till 7.30 and then realize that nobody is there, and get back to our seat....
Around 7.45, get a call from onsite telling that he was stuck in a traffic jam??? BEAT THAT!!! This guy is in Detroit, Traffic jam? I dint know Detroit had a Hosur Road...huh!!!
and I just wanted to blog about this on that day itself... wrote the whole Ramayan, wanted to publish, and guess what?
BLOGGER ERROR!!!!
WOW! Just this was left....
hmph!!!!
when it rains, it pours.... oh yeah!!!

Bheed mein tanhayee...

Bheed mein tanhaayi si hai
Dil pooch rahaa hai aisa kyun?
Bas, yeh aansoon tapak pade hain aaj
Najaane yeh dil iss uljhann mein kyun...

Sabh kuchh hai yahaan
Lekin phir bhi ek kammi si hai
Sabh apne apne paas hain
Phir bhi ajeeb nammi si hai...

Shaayad yehi hai uljhann meri
Ke joh apne hain, woh hain bhi par nahin
Jab chaahti hoon woh hon paas apne
Dekhne mein woh hain kahin nahin

Mehsoos karna chaahti hoon unko
Par phir bhi, woh ehsaas na aaye
Dil bohut akelaa hai aaj
Aur bas, doobta doobta chalaa jaaye.

Koi sambhaalo issey
Bheed mein bhi hone lagi tanhaayi
Kaash paas aakar koi duur karta issey
Varna iss tanhaayi se na jaaoon maari.

Had got this as a forward some times back... could relate to it very much today... hats off the author of this poem...

Not afraid to die......

No, I'm not afraid to die.......

but I just dont want to be there when it happens...

when we look back the path we've traversed....

We are filled with regrets…
For things not done…
For words not said…
For love not shown…
For dreams not accomplished...

but…………………
Can the unsaid words do as much damage as the words that were out…
don’t we wish we hadn’t spoken few words at times????
don’t we all regret for the love that we’ve shown??
don’t we wish for if some dreams were left as dreams alone???