These guys in US are damn busy I must say... Managing the clients on one hand, offshore folks on the other, a complete mechanical life, weekends go in partying and then wait for the next weekend... they just dont find time for anything you see.... nope nothing! not even time to choose a girl for them to spend the rest of their life with... so mostly they transfer this headache(!!!) to their momma's...
When I visited my native last week for prasad's wedding, I met one such momma...
Description:
She: A lean female aged around 50+, wearing a super jatang kancheevaram silk saree, with some 4-5 gold neck laces, some 10+ gold bangles on each hand, one big ear ring and a specs (Gold frame!)...
Me: A definetely-cant-be-termed-as-lean-in-any-angle female clanned in super jatang saree (as it was a gift from prasad for his wedding), wearing some minimal jewellery which all marriageable girls (ahem) must wear in mangalore, giving artificial smiles to all the known strangers and walking around...
Encounter:
She along with her daughter enter the Scene (read my granny's house, which is just next to the marriage hall) where me, padi(a cousin brother) and my mom are sitting.
She: Oh, this is the girl???
Me : ?!!!!?!!!!?!!!!! :-) (an artificial one at that!)
The obvious questions of age, weight, height, company, college, subject and what not were asked.... and like a goody goody girl I answered all of them... and then...
She: How fast did you get your job after enginerring?
Me : er.. a couple of months later (*oh funduuu eh???*)
She: hmm... what subject you studied you said?
Me : Electronics...
She: oh, you did not study computers, thats why... otherwise you'd have got the job soon..
Me: er... hmm :-) (???!!!!!!!???)
She: You are ready to leave your job right? the guy is in America...
Me: oh! (*phew, I got a reason...*) Er.... No, I've no plans of leaving my job or going to the US (*Mad or what?*)
She: Why???
Me : Er... I want to settle down in Bangalore... I'm not looking for any long term stay outside... (*WHY eh??? huh!!!*)
She: He is earning good, he has bought a car there recently, what is your problem, why do you need to work when he is well settled??
Me : Er.... I'm not interested in going there (*owwww Man, why the hell she was asking about my job, subject I studied blah blah blah if she wanted me to quit my career*)
She: Then how is it possible, after marriage you cant stay in bangalore and he in America right?
Me : hmm :-) (*lady, you are talking as if i'm already married to your son*)
She: My son has asked me to shortlist 4-5 girls and keep. he is coming in september for 20 days, coz he doesnt have much leave, he'll select one of these and get the VISA done and immediately he is planning to take the girl with him to America. You guys think and tell us if its fine with you. only then we shall proceed...
Me: hmm :-) (a super sarcastic one at that!)
My mom who was a silent spectator of the whole drama, breaks her silence now and tells out that we shall call back if we are interested (ofcourse, even she had decided by now that we would not be calling them) . The lady is about to leave, turns back and asks,
'what height did you say you were? '
I said '5.4'...
come stand next to my daughter... *Er....what???... hmph!!!!... grrrrrrrrr!!!!* [** some emotions just cant be expressed you see **] and she goes near the door and comes back again and,
'you do onething, you give her photo and horoscope, write her email address too, let them talk over internet and let them decide. who are we to talk after all. '
*arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!*
and there ended the saga...
I really did not understand what kind of girl this lady was looking out for. how did things like my job, or how intelligent I was in getting a job, or my subject mattered if at all she wanted a goody goody sophisticated housewife to be settled in amreeka??? Is it that only the one who has studied electronics can cook well for her son? or what is it? pssst...
And these amreeka guys I tell ya... Marriage is definetely an essential step in your life boss... dont trust on those 4-5 candidates shortlisted by your momma and those 20 damn days... Know what you are looking for in your girl first and try spending some 'quality' time in searching the one for you. After all, you'll be spending a significant part of your life with her buddy!!!
duhh!!!!
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42 comments:
heard and encountered so many such similar tales. Even wonderd as to why these guys want working woman fr a wife when they want her to socialise for them, cook for them etc. tc. it is just a few days back, a neighbour of mine who was ahouswife shared her secret wih me. Her husband is nt proud to introduce his wife as a house wife whle the res proudl talk of their hwife's position, achievementsin career etc. She wwas so disappointed. ofcourse, now she is working.
You also going thru the groom hunt painfull journey ?? I so so hate the kind of stoooopid women who run bride hunting for their sons, the kind you have discribed here.
[:-D]Were you supposed to go through the interview? I mean was it predetermined yaa phir aise hii runtime pe ho gaya??
LOL, getting a job in 2 months is BAD? What do these people think anyhow? LOL, if I told her about my luck at jobs, she'll be runing after me to get her daughter married to me without bothering about how I look or what kind of an idiot I am.
[:-P]Hey...thats actually a GOOD thing. LOL, that may be the ONLY way I ever get married. Hmm...I must start advertizing the fact immediately !!
So, if you see any mother who wants to marry her cute daughter, tell her you've got a friend who got 3 jobs before he even graduated from college. [;-)]If you find me a match, you get relevant commission !!
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
Chitra
sheeesh, what a loser he is!!!
***
Ya kusum, dont ask about it.. :-|
***
Oh, it ws runtime guns .. and whoa, now I should play cupid too... ;;)
[:-D]Cupid is better. LOL, Cupid does it for free.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
This is why I'm such a sucker for love-marriages.
No pre-determined interviews. All Self-determined. You want the guy, you go for it.
Hey khushi, dont get married to an NRI just because he's NRI. Look out for other important credentials before yu decide about your future.. and take your parents also into confidence.!! Best of luck for future and further search (^_*)
@guns LOL! .. haha.. dont brood so much about your 3 jobs in one go before graduation. People from CS or IT get campus recruited in 3rd yr by infy,wipro,cts,tcs,satyam..etc in masses like dumb sheeps.. LOL! When it is not enough, they reliquish the branch criterion and recruit from all branches,sometimes even without taking interviews...haha...well known to everyone. LOL! [:P] I'm stil smiling.
Smiles and "wink" (^_*)
Hey Khushi..
great post..!
I got reminded of one of my colleague's lamentations a few months back..
His work permit(H1) was delayed and this guy was really afraid whether he would be able to marry or not...hihi the flipside..you can marry only if your visa is filed..
strange world we live in..
guns
yahaan, kuch bhi mufth nahi miltha bhaiyaa...
***
he he, all the best, viky
***
nishu
Er... yeah :-|
***
sigh!!!! yes kannan, strange is the world!
Hey Mate! Interesting post and a quite an ordeal...:)
Hmm..what can i say, I am an NRI and I can have a month or so for an year to spend. Btw I am not in search of bride as of now. I live in a place where you can hardly see any indian gal...:(
But I agree on your point about the qualifications and intelligence stuff for matchmaking. Similar thing happened to me last time when I was talking to my aunt over phone, she says "since You are in reseach we will look for gal who is also interested in such career..." what kind of basis is that.completely weird. I personally believe in knowing the gal on my self. But the reality is I may not. But to tell you the truth, I dont know what to look for in a gal. In case somebody knows what sort of things to look in a gal please enlighten me.
I am neither supporting nor against any kind of marriages. I would rather better prepared for any kind of marriage than sticking to one type and wandering.
Any yeah, I may have such 4-5 shortlisted candidates next time when I go home...:P
I am also NRI ( Non Required Indian). This is one part of story. Other side is Parents searching for NRI's for their daughters. Last December I was there in India for my brothers marriage. Even I got two three proposals from well known rich families. But when I said, I do not have intension to go back to US . No one turned back. After a some days some how they come to know that I am back in US. started calling my parents... asking about me .. mail id Phone numbers etc.
Parents
Boy's Parent think that their son is NRI and he is much better than any one in India, They want best girl for their son which is very sad.
Girl's Parents always try to find a NRI for their daughter. Don't know why, but strange.
We
we are educated, responsible ,independent youths with our own goals in life. Still today majority of us start searching for soul mates because parents are forcing us to do so ( I am talking about arrange marriages). Balancing between parents needs our needs is difficult.
Marriage
Arrange marriages based on luck and adjustment factors by both. How many people discus their bad qualities before marriages ( even if we discuss that is good part of it). No one is perfect in this world. So, are we reedy to discuss some of our -ve points? If No why ? is it because of inner fears inside us?
Why?
There is simple and sharp difference in humans and animals. Unlike barking dogs, which try to build fears in us out of their own fear, we keep those inner fears inside us. Isn’t amazing how the same inner fears are displayed differently in the same world.
If we were machines that are molded, patterned and programmed to do any tasks, we would be free. Unfortunately we have built some reservations within ourselves, which prevent us from changing or adapting newer and unknown ways. It’s incredible how machines built by us are freer than us.
Even tastes are affected with it. We are fragile and innocent enough to be affected by our own assumptions. We have set an ideal world within ourselves, which we do not want to get out of. All our tastes, interests, relationships, culture, styles are not independent, they have varied amount of misgivings attached to them.
Am I going round and round ? Point is ... Take life easy... every thing is driven by some force....not by us or parents. do your duty but do not expect results.... Hmmmm.
I am also NRI ( Non Required Indian). This is one part of story. Other side is Parents searching for NRI's for their daughters. Last December I was there in India for my brothers marriage. Even I got two three proposals from well known rich families. But when I said, I do not have intension to go back to US . No one turned back. After a some days some how they come to know that I am back in US. started calling my parents... asking about me .. mail id Phone numbers etc.
Parents
Boy's Parent think that their son is NRI and he is much better than any one in India, They want best girl for their son which is very sad.
Girl's Parents always try to find a NRI for their daughter. Don't know why, but strange.
We
we are educated, responsible ,independent youths with our own goals in life. Still today majority of us start searching for soul mates because parents are forcing us to do so ( I am talking about arrange marriages). Balancing between parents needs our needs is difficult.
Marriage
Arrange marriages based on luck and adjustment factors by both. How many people discus their bad qualities before marriages ( even if we discuss that is good part of it). No one is perfect in this world. So, are we reedy to discuss some of our -ve points? If No why ? is it because of inner fears inside us?
Why?
There is simple and sharp difference in humans and animals. Unlike barking dogs, which try to build fears in us out of their own fear, we keep those inner fears inside us. Isn’t amazing how the same inner fears are displayed differently in the same world.
If we were machines that are molded, patterned and programmed to do any tasks, we would be free. Unfortunately we have built some reservations within ourselves, which prevent us from changing or adapting newer and unknown ways. It’s incredible how machines built by us are freer than us.
Even tastes are affected with it. We are fragile and innocent enough to be affected by our own assumptions. We have set an ideal world within ourselves, which we do not want to get out of. All our tastes, interests, relationships, culture, styles are not independent, they have varied amount of misgivings attached to them.
Am I going round and round ? Point is ... Take life easy... every thing is driven by some force....not by us or parents. do your duty but do not expect results.... Hmmmm.
Hey...nanagoo regi hogathe. We spend a significant part of our life earning a degree, then job and we are supposed to give it all up for some guy whom we have not even met? Three muchu.....
all the best contended
***
hello Non Required Indian,
Lets not talk about parents here. My rant here was on the guy more than his mom. There is always a generation gap between us and our parents, and we cant expect reasoning to all the questions they ask.
Ya, in arrange marriages, you hardly have time to 'talk' about you.. and obviously you'd want to put only the best foot forward first..
//We have set an ideal world within ourselves, which we do not want to get out of.
very much true!
//All our tastes, interests, relationships, culture, styles are not independent, they have varied amount of misgivings attached to them
hmm?????
//every thing is driven by some force....not by us or parents. do your duty but do not expect results
he he, bhagavathgeetha??? :-)
well, every coin has an other side, what i've narrated here was just my experience!
***
sigh!!! viks I was just waiting for you..
***
sigh!!!! howdu chitz
ha ha ha ha
so when is th internet meeting?
btw i was scared by name 'prasad'.
he he so far spared ;-)
really prasad ??
chhuk !
end of hide and seek ;-)
dont tell anyone ha?,
swalpa secret maadi.
endevourme,
he he, sure sure madana, adakkenanthe :) aakhir, naam mein kya hein ;-)
khushi,
liked ur experience alot ..really touched me.Ab finding and meeting your right one with whom u can go for long drive and walk hand in hand in rain ...this is one quote one of my close friend whom i never met told me.
"If we are related we will meet"
so u will surely meet that one ..soooner ..and best of luck.
Dont brand me outdated...but I can't believe such people do exist in real life ...I thought they did only in tv serials.
manoj,
hmm???
interesting!
***
Rk
they do... trust me! ;-)
#khushi
i just stumbled on this blog !
its WONDERFULL...
i am having a real-bad hair day 2day.
clips are really useless sometime...
u made me feel better.
guess we have something in common
will come here often :)
keep smiling :-)
thanks some other anonymous :)
Kushi,
hey!!!,Why try for NRI's (read Non Reliable Indians)?, when you can find a good NRI (read Non Recognized Indian...yet!)...Ahem!. ;)
_Prax
I hope the guy you find is man enough for this. ;-)
http://vikasshankar.blogspot.com/2006/06/bride-and-prejudice.html
Haha....this ws fun 2 read.... weird NRI's with their weird proposals.
I guess u can write a whole book on ur matrimonial adventures ;)
lol..did she really ask u about your weight??i wonder why!
Prashanth,
Er........ yeah :-?
***
choooooooooooooooooo chweeeeeeeeeeeeeet viky, :D
^:)^
***
ha ha ha, will try that ROL
***
even I wonder that shikha , ermmmmm... okey, lets not talk about it here :P
Hey, has anyone read dollar sose by Sudha Murty?
Someone was telling me that it was regarding this NRI bride hunting. I dont know whether its a novella, or an anthology of bride-hunting expeditions.
oh ya, viky
I've read it...
Its about a greedy MIL's bride hunting for her NRI son, and at the end of the search, she'll land up getting one such DIL and then the repercussions and how she realizes that earning dollar is not the only thing in life!
Well said , Khushi!
Damn hilarious, yet putting forward the ordeal a well-educated girl consious of her career has to go through.
Keep the good job going!
By the way, all the best for the upcoming interviews, hopefully sensible ones ! :)
Urrghhh!
Thats sounds repulsive!!
Man u have some patience to actually politely answer her queries!
I would have made a huge face and literally asked her to leave If I were u!
Shes out finding a wife for her son or shopping for vegetables!!!
Thanks rashmi :)
***
ekta
Yes, it indeed is one!
sigh!!!
And the saga continues!!...:-(
oooooooooohahahahaha..... was awesome....
anand, sigh!!!
***
teju,
:)
OMG... You should've taken the guy's mail id and should've given him some funduu gyan that he'll start looking out for a girl and not his mom.
hhahaha !interesting 2 know that u dont want 2 settle in US. otherwise everyone , including me seems chasing dollar dreams in some way or the other.
neways the description was light and comic , and I was trying to visualize the whole scene.this is what makes an interesting reading.
he he me,
it rarely happens so... :)
***
thanks amit,it was indeed funny :)
//(*Mad or what?*)
rofl...too good ...But she actually asked u to stand near her daughter to c ur height??! some nerve! :O
nice post.. quite common these days.. :).. nice piece of advice there too.. :).. never compromise..
well khushi, i am glad you got rid of that rotten aunty.
i too have some comments to make better said in this post http://justanotherscorpion.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_archive.html
let me know, what you think :)
keep writing
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