Ya, y not. who said there cant be pure friendship between a guy and a girl. Last year, when I was attending one of my best friend's wedding, one female had asked me...
'aap dono husband/wife hein?'
I said 'nahi tho' (*haaan?????*),
'tho, bhai behan hai?'
'nahi...'
'tho???'
huh! I felt the poor lady thinks there cant be anything other than husband/wife love or the brother/sister affection between a guy and a girl.
huh!!! huh!!! huh!!!
Most of the times we feel more comfortable to discuss many issues with a friend who belongs to the oppsite clan. Probably its the difference in the perspective or the basic differences in the attitude towards things which makes us bond together fast.
As a friendship grows its quite easy to develop an intense admiration and attachment towards the other person and as the line between friendly and romantic feelings is too fine to cross over, it usuall does. No, Not always,. There could be many friends with whom we cant think of anything else.
but in certain cases,
just friends????
hmm, quite dicey actually!!!
There will be a phase where in you know its not just friendship, you are not sure if its something else, dont want to give a 'name' to whateverrrrr it is, just want to live in those times. I guess the relation will be at a very delicate state at this time and even if both are interested towards each other, nobody wants to break the ice, coz it involves lot of complexities. Its not just a fear of Rejection, but also the fear of losing someone so close, fear of losing the friendship, fear of what-next???
Just popping up the 'L' word will be a bad idea. Though under normal circumstances such a moment is a matter of honor for (wo)men coz the mental counter of "people who've fallen for me" is promptly incremented. Sadly, not all moments are so relishable especially when its between two friends. A simple Yes or No is going to change so many equations.
But there needs to be an end to all the confusions right? Do I really like her so much? Is he the right one for me? How serious are we? Do I want to work it out? Its good to ask ourselves some basic questions right? if you find answers for these, then comes the question "can 'we' work it out"...
I guess once there is a definite answer to these questions, you can move ahead. Instead of making it so formal, you can just look into the others eyes and ask 'where do u think its going ;-) ? ' I guess its a more subtle way of telling and making things not sound awkward :) If it works fine, well and good. and if it doesnt, I know its not easy to come back and say we are just friends after a decision has been taken against it, but then atleast its clear of what you want, and where is this heading. Eventually mebbe the interactions would reduce, there mebbe certain not-so-comfortable moments, but then, we all love to live in the la-la-land, but when we wake up and realize it was not that nice a dream, then we should not have lost the courage to dream again, life has to move on... after all the show must go on right???..... :)
PS: Now dont start asking questions like, 'experienced huh?' and stuff...Er.... actually, you can say few things give a dejavu... ;)
22 comments:
Good post !
Hey khushi,
First time on ur blog and enjoyed reading the post..very well written!
and honestly I agree with most of what uv written...in my experience with whatever friends have seen...most guy/girl friendships..somewhere sometime end up in some form of attraction.!...so dunno really if a guy and girl can only "always" be just friends!
*i guess its the age that makes the difference...high school is when the thin line of demarcation is hardly visible...later on we all get wise :)
*hmm... its sad that some ppl dont appreciate platonic relations...
thanks Chitra
* * *
Ekta
:)
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Lakshana
//high school is when the thin line of demarcation is hardly visible...later on we all get wise :)
Really???
wise? or otherwise? lady????
defenitely wise!... the age of playfullness begins to end with high school or college dont u think?...wat u want(in a relationship or even otherwise) is more evident to u as u grow older...n thz wat i meant when i said we all get wise enuf to recognise the line of demarcation.....comprendez?
hi..
i donno why poeple always think in this way " tu ladka, main ladki...then we r friend".....why we can go beyond"we r friend then u r ladka aur main ladki"...why....why..nice post..
Roy
Hey,
Came to your blog through sudarshan's and well this is indeed a touchy topic--kinda like chicken and egg...noone knows the answer!:-)
But in most of my experiences...in most cases when a guy and girl are together--eventually there is always some form of attraction thats sparks up..atleast from one side!...guess thats what the naure of a man and woman is about..after all we'r descendants of adam and eve!:-)
Lakshana
hey,I think its the other way round. when we were young, the line of demarcation between friendship and love was more strong, thats when the relationships were platonic. but as we grew older the the line became more feeble...
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hmm, you see either way, i'm talking about the next level Roy
PS: thanks for dropping by :)
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Its so true Anand
PS: Thanks for peeping in :)
hey.. when i said young i dint mean the times when we were in junior school.. i was very much referring to the young age of adolescense :) ....and i still think that the older you grow (rather the wiser u get) the more you become sure of ur wants,needs....its easy to mistake friendship for otherwise but the wiser u become its easier to demarcate between the two..[rite now i'm jus contemplating if this wisdom comes with age alone or with experience as well :) ]
Lakshana
//its easy to mistake friendship for otherwise but the wiser u become its easier to demarcate between the two..
hmm?????
:-|
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vikram
My la la land?? and you?? No entry boss!!!
;-)
hey...i'm just saying that the "attraction" that we r referring to doesnt happen with JUS a friend... surely one needs to be more than just a friend for a life partner!who but urself wud knw best abt the place that someone else holds in ur life? be it a friend or otherwise.. and why wud it b so difficult for u to knw if ur 'attracted' to that person or not?..
ps- looks like this topic jus gave way to heated discussion :P...sorry for buggin ya! :D
Not everything can be put under black or white Lakshana,
Certain things will be in Grey...
PS: hey, never mind, two people, two views :)
Hey have u seen "When Harry Met Sally"? I kindof agree with Billy Crystal's theory wen he says a man and a woman can not be just friends in the same way as 2 men or 2 women can be...especially if they're young, single and attractive.
At least 1 of them is bound to feel "the spark", and then things won't be the same!
hmm, sometimes its true ROL
and that's why silent crushes are so sweet :)
I cant really believe I am commenting on ALL the posts I am reading on your blog. Pretty rare to find a blog where every post is interesting enough to comment on.
All credit to you. I'm a relative newcomer to this blogging 'industry'. LOL, pray teach me some ropes so my blog is as interesting as yours !!!!
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
Good Posts... I do agree with ur views.. Good Job!!
-Harish
Here's what happens when there's an accidental spark which goes awry.
http://vikasshankar.blogspot.com/2006/02/how-do-you-mend-broken-heart.html
i like the narrative style...non preaching...just light and indicative :)
Deja vu???? well, u really need to brush up your brain cells honi! ;-)
Hi Mr. Konfused,
You started your post by declaring a guy and girl can be just "friends", and ridiculing the female's "societal tendency" of questioning the relationship a man and woman share. However, gradually you trespass into amorous territories, which by your own admission is the logical conclusion of the relationship between the two opposing sexes.
"As friendship grows..." you say, "it develops into intense admiration...". Which means, the relationship between a guy and gal doesnt stop at being mere friends. It grows stronger, not as friendship, but metamorphoses to something else.
We do not fret over when someone questions a relationship that is "defined", "meaninfgul", and socially "accepted". But we certainly are on guard when it is otherwise.
I do agree, however, that people should mind their business and not be overly interested in the kind of relationship a man and woman nurture.
-Vijay
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