This post is written in the fond remembrance of all the prospective grooms (er...can include their parents too) all around the globe :). Any resemblance to anybody alive or dead ;-) is purely coincidental and the author takes no responsibilites :D
Ya.... now coming to the point,
when ever I used to see some funny ads which come in the matrimonial section of TOI or the forwards which we get about matrimony, I used to wonder about the level of exaggeration.
But Boss, such things do happen in real life too.
To start with, the profile pics which people generally send will be the ones delicately chosen from a lot which are fine tuned after adding some special effects (in addition to those artificial smiles) in some posh photo labs. And Yet, the end product will be very very faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away from the actual self.
And next comes the Bio-data. Mannnn, how much do they boast about thier accomplishments (er... if thats what they call it). A few excerpts from the ones I've seen/heard...
Green Card holder/US returned...
(adds WEIGHTage to the resume)
I'm planning to settle in down in US for ASSET creation...
(Ahem Ahem, no comments ;-) )
Girl should be a "BE" but I prefer a housewife...
(What the.............. argh!!!)
Girl should know how to cook coz I'm a big foodie...
(Ek bavarchie ko kyon nahi dhondthe ho bhaiyya??? )
The girl has to be not more than 60 kgs...
(but he can be a hippo, huh?)
She needs to be FAIR...
(Ya, gift me a bleaching powder, you moron!!)
My Girl should be not more than 5.2...
(coz, hez 5.4.... pssssssssst)
I love my parents (oh! ya, we all hate them...) , she should be loving too (pssst, psst!!!)
I'm looking for a long term married life...
(=)) but we just want a short term honey ;-))
My ancestors are living in this city for more than 250 years...
(duuuuude!!! some of ur ancestors are still on trees =)) )
we are familiar with atleast 100 families in this city...
(oye hoye, now i really have doubt, have you escaped from some jungle???)
The girl needs to wear atleast 1000 gms of gold...
(!!! !$$!##&!!!!!!)
I have nothing to talk to the girl, its enuff if my parents talk...
(BOYYY, whom is she marrying??? )
Sheesh, why do we live life so much as a mater-of-fact?
Buddy, shez the one with whom you are gonna spend the rest of your life... Is this all what is important to you???? Is this all your requirements???
Sigh!!!
22 comments:
ROTFL....
damn this ws FUNNY as HELL.
Can't believe sum of these things actually happen...especially
"The girl needs to wear atleast 1000 gms of gold..."
Y do they plan to open a jewellery shop or sumthing...
And the oft repeated 1 tht takes the cake is..."I have nothing to talk to the girl, its enuff if my parents talk..."
Can't believe thr r ppl who'd marry any1 that blindly !!!
True thr r a lotta such "namoona's" around, but then hey...u can't generalise it to ALL the prospective grooms around!
I strongly agree with rebel_on_loose as one can't generalize prospective grooms.
But I am sure someone might have written about prospective brides based on their profiles in matrimonials somewhere in blog-world too.
I wonder if any match that done in matrimonials is just based on such kind of profiles???
LOL!
Hmm, people say "Love is Blind", but here, scanning these 'requirements' it seems, "marriage is cockeyed".
thanks ROL,
ahem ahem, I shall keep in mind that there are some non-namoona's around too ;-)
***
//based on such kind of profiles???
he he, I wonder too :)
***
well said Jay :)
yup... it sure wud b nice for ppl to accept the rest as they are..
pd-good going wit the hit counter !
This is hilarious stuff! :D
What I'd really liike to see are the specimens they end up getting hitched to! It most certainly takes all sorts.
hahah!
This is hilarious and so true!
Have personally seen some of these--in fact a recent ad i read about this guy was--I am good looking, very smart, gorgeous personality and very attractive...!!! thats that-nothing more!
Hes probably written the ad while starign at himself in the mirror!
"he can be a Hippo" !!!
i yam still laughing at this one !!!!
Funny post this !!
But, the sad thing is, quite a lot of these are real.
Lakshana, :)
***
Arjun,
they land up getting someone who suit their requirements.. thats the best part!!!
***
Ekta
he he, ya, even I've seen some weird ads like that..
***
hmph!!! Yes sunil :)
Checkout Gulte's matrimonials. Each profession is given a rate ranging from 25lacs - 2crores.
A IT pro is less valued than a IT Pro(US returned). It still happens in ANDHRA. :))
we are familiar with atleast 100 families in this city...
god..what do they mean by this???That the bride's people will have to prepare food for 100 families?
i remember one incident i still laugh.
one of my friend in Hyderabad who is smart, intelligent, beautiful and very affable gal from kerala got a call from a guy from her native through her relatives who was interested to marry her. She is a gal who stands on her own legs with a strong and stable views about life and what she wants.
after a half hr of telecon - it seemed he was blushing and doing all the stuff to impress her with no knowledge that she is well earning lady with spanish contacts .
She reproduced all their interaction how that guy was giving instruction how she should be and what she should do as if she is already his wife and a slave.
All your post made me reminsice her incident.
VERY funny.. who knows if , i end up posting myself in matrimonial( my good ness i dont think i will ever) , i might also use some craky linners. ah ah ah aha ah
i am seriously thinking what should be my cranky liner should be
sakkath commentsu :)!
Haha...that's really really funny lol...smart and really humurous..HATS OFF!! Enjoy your weekend :-)
khushi :
it was a very fine brought out by you. Though some of the ad lines were too heavy to digest, the rest were seen
very common. I have not gone in this arena , myself, so cannot give a first hand details, but I would defintaly hate putting such ads or reading similar ads from the bride's side.
Right, is this the only thing which matter to us , when we look for our better half, our partner for life. How petty and trivial our requirements have become.
-ATG
Hmph! its sad Tenali
PS: Thanks for visiting :)
***
Shikha,
I guess that guy wanted to say that his family 'socializes' with people..er.. mebbe...
***
He he, Ya, such things do happen Vaishnav :)
So, thought about the cranky one liner? ;-)
***
Thanks chitra
***
It was indeed a looooooong weekend Sudarshan, we had 4 days off :D
***
Anil,
too heavy to digest???
but they are true buddy!
Very true picture of the painful reality... Slim...fair...tall...homely... These words invariably can be seen in every requirement!!! And as u said... all this.... US returned and stuff??? additional qualities....!!!! I ve always wondered if this is all that is expected... and what if i am not any of these!!!!!???? No chance....huh !!!
Ur words echo my mind. (That hippo thing was very funny ... cant stop laughing :) )
And that picture in the beginning is very good though :)
hey Priya
//Very true picture of the painful reality...
True dear! though the post is on a lighter note, its the painful reality :(
PS: thanks for visiting :)
LOL!!
Absolutely hilarious. Wonderfully picked stuff. From all the detail you have in here though, it seems you read the matrimonials a lot !!
Hmmm...is it coz you read it like a comic strip or coz you are REALLY interested in getting married a.s.a.p. ??
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
Super...
ROTFLing on 'Some of yours are still on trees'
Good one.
guns,
its a comic strip indeed!
***
viky
:)
***
Post a Comment