This bond keeps getting strengthened or weekend as the time goes and the situations we face. Sometimes I wonder what is the essence of a relationship.
What is that something with which we form a strong bond? And
What is that something which acts as a last thread between two people and if its broken the relationship is nowhere?
Is it Compatibility?, i.e., how well you connect to the other person? Ya, mebbe when you feel comfortable with a person, when you can be yourself with a person, there is nothing like it. Or, No, there are so many people in the world who are so different, who really can’t connect to each other, yet they are together?
Is it Trust?, hmm? Mebbe or Mebbe not. We all live in a hope. We trust somebody, and when its broken, we feel bad, but yet live with a hope that things will get well. It will definitely take some ample amount of time to build the trust again, but maybe it depends on the genuineness of the other individual.
Mutual Respect? Hmm, maybe. Maybe if we loose respect on somebody we won’t feel comfortable with them. We might not be able to continue with the relationship.
Personal space? If someone is intruding too much into our space, then probably its very difficult to take it. But the other way round is also not acceptable, that is when the other one is too much aloof about our life. teri-life-teri-marzi kinds...naaah!.. hmm personal space could also be a reason.
Care about the other person? Hmm, there are so many relationships where we don’t see the two having the same wavelength, they don’t share anything in common, but just the basic care/concern/affection about the other person holds the bond.
Physical attraction? But for how many days? we all grow old, we all wont look the same way we do now. Maybe it can act like a catalyst in the chemistry between the two, but anything beyond that? Er....... I dont think so.
Commitment? Ya, lots of relations stand on this last thread I guess. Though both are not happy with anything happening with them, they are together just coz they are committed to each other and can’t face the reality and the society.
Or is it the combination of all of these?
hmph! seems like a jigsaw puzzle indeed!
I just remember a song from page-3 whenever I think of relationships...
Kitney ajeeb rishtey hein jahaan pe,
Do pal milte hein, saath saath chalthein hein,
Jab modh aye tho, bachke nikalthe hein,
Kitney ajeeb rishtey hein jahaan pe...
Sigh!
18 comments:
A thoughtful post...
Compatibility - Very impportant indeed...well actually thr r not many ppl in this world who're incompatible and yet they stay together,the ones who do is just becoz of tht last point-Committment.
Trust and Mutual Respect r inter-related,if u lose these u obviously loose the compatibility too.
Personal space is not much of a criteria i feel.
Care-yes of course,Physical Attraction-maybe only initially,
and Committment - YES of course the single most important thread(specially for us indians) tht holds a relationship together no matter wht.
wow, deep thoughts indeed.
All I can say is that any relation has lot of equations, variables involved with it to make a delicate balance. All the factors mentioned above and a lot of meta factors bind into a complicated structure to make all the emotions, needs and feeling sin perfect proportion to make it a good relationship.
Nice post, indeed.
-ATG
the scribe,
:), shall visit your blog 4 sure!
ROL
//single most important thread(specially for us indians) tht holds a relationship together no matter wht.
hmm? are we not being just hypocrites in that case?
Anil,
Yeah!
Hi Khushi!! Good one.
Ur blog reminds me of a quote that I'd read some time back...
" A chain is as strong as its weakest link!! " ...
Relationships or situations, are just perceptions... At the end its we who decide as to what we want!!
Its we who allow or deny people into our lives. So I second your thought, all those threads you've mentioned are important in their own way. Even with one of them missing, the bond weakens!!
hey anonymous,
that was real good thought.
//" A chain is as strong as its weakest link!! " ...
hmm very apt I guess. it depends on what we prioritize and what we keep as the weekest link
I very much liked your comment :)
Wow Khushi..tune mere mooh ki baat cheen li :). Hmmm... how about companionship as one of the factors?
A jigsaw puzzle indeed !
thanks a lot yar..
Chitra,
//Hmmm... how about companionship as one of the factors?
Ya, I thought of this when I wrote about compatibility :)
vikram,
:)
Jay,
Yeah!!
Known stranger,
Er.... thanks for whatever you meant ;-)
Hypocrites...well...c the point is that u committ only once ur sure of the compatibility....now later even if u do have a few misunderstandings,then if this committment is the only thing that prevents u from going apart...then maybe it isn't so bad afterall,rite ?
The West doesn't belive in tolerance and adaptability at all...and hence their widespread dysfunctional families. Vr still much better off(at least till now!)
Well that's a really interesting post.I bet each one of us has thought about this topic in our minds often..but glad to know you've presented it in writing so perfectly well.I feel relationships are really dependent on the people participating in them, and the factors that make these relationships work are unique to every relationship!! For some it may be admiration, for some it may be trust, and so on..!! We can never standardize the factors that make relationships work!!Anyway I loved this post..I guess its one of the best posts written by you since I've started reading your blog:-)
Raj,
hmm :)
ROL,
//if this committment is the only thing that prevents u from going apart...then maybe it isn't so bad afterall,rite ?
Really??
If you are not at all happy with the one you are and you feel therez no way out, just coz of social commitment?
whom are you faking?
Sudarshan,
//We can never standardize the factors that make relationships work!!
Ya,, Right!
and thanks :)
I think it all starts with trust..compatibility,respect can be built over time.and then comes commitment..but with a breach of trust everything can fall apart
Shikha,
hmm :)
Well...let me rephrase my comment...i was assuming that the compatibility wud already have been ensured before jumping into marriage...now in case an altercation does take place then a split shud not be the 1st recourse(that's the level of intolerance building up nowadays),perhaps the couple shud go for counselling or sumthing to give it another chance...even then if it doesn't work out,then of course the option of divorce is always open.
ROL
Ya, i agree :)
very very thoughtful post indeed !
Very nice post. Kinda mindbloggin' (:
C'ya.
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