“Does familiarity actually breed contempt?
And staying far makes and strengthens relationships?”
hmm... :-?
How many times have we felt that its nice to stay far... atleast the relationship will be in a formal, 'hi-how are you-I'm fine-thank you' state and people will be happy?
But staying far from someone for long?
will that not dilute a relationship?
Jus wondering...
22 comments:
Familiarity does breed contempt. The more you know a person the more you are aware of his/her flaws. Thus, if you had an "image", that would be lost. Thus, it may lead to contempt.
In order to sustain a relationship, one should be accepting to let go of all the "flaws" (what one considers' as "flaws") in the other.
I agree…Every relationship has its highs and lows! This is especially true with ppl who we’re close to. There are times when we might feel we need more space in such a relationship. That’s when distance becomes a blessing in disguise. During this time we realize the good things we’re missing out on by staying far away. The relationship then takes on a new turn and the issues that were of concern before will fade into oblivion!
good pt!
Well sometimes u do feel the need to stay apart and think this is the case in every relationship!
Guess every relationship needs breathers!!
However wether the relationship will survive being away is something that will depend only on the strength of the relationship!
However when the relationship gets bitter--its best to say away!
Jay,
a good point, idealistic though!
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nannu,
// During this time we realize the good things we’re missing out on by staying far away.
hmm??? it can be the other way round too... you might start enjoying the new-found solitude or freedom
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//However wether the relationship will survive being away is something that will depend only on the strength of the relationship!
very true ekta :)
Much depends on how much you want to make it work. If in the deepest of your heart, you don't mind the relationship going worse, then the chances are that you won't take remedial actions when it actually begins to.
If a person is really special, and you like their company (physical / platonic / virtual), then alarm bells will surely ring, and you will act accordingly.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. For, it is like a great wind, which extinguishes a small flame, but encourages great forest fires.
And yes, tagged ya on my post. Do check
nice pic :)
Tee hee...two contradictory statments:
1. Distance makes heart grow fonder
2. Out of sight..out of mind.
Yaarige yaavudu applicable, yenu gothu...:)
Your most of the posts make me pause and I feel like replying in length. Alas I fail to find, where do I start. And then there is this time factor.
In short, as many other excuses and explanations which actually are not completely right but people tend to believe so, because it is difficult to proove it wrong or because it is easier to believe it, distance factor in relationship is like that.
Before I start elongating my reply like an elastic, my opinion is, things happen and you try to find a reason and "distance" factor comes up and not other way round. If I didnt make sense, forget it, I will do justice sometime later.
Hmmm...Interesting one...:)
I like to refer to what Anthony Robins says about relationships...."Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take"...
I know it sounds idelaistic, but if only one can have such mind set (which I believe strongly) near or far, it really doesn't matter.
Btw, how are your aerobics going on....:)
Hey,
Its a sad reality that we see today!
So many families split coz they'd rather let the relationship survive by getting away than let it die by being together!
Guess to me it all boils down the growing intolerance that we have towards each other and towards relationships in general!
Reminded me of a doha i. i dont remeber the exact words. it goes something like this " malayagiri ke ....chandan deth jalaye".
Being near them, the people there dont understand the value of chandan trees and use it for burning.
I feel there should be a distance in relationship. Wich gives a flavour and newness and adds fun to the life.
If staying far Dilutes a relationship then that relationship was never Storng.....
My personal feeling is distance makes you realize the worth of the relation!!!!.... but no point being away and realizying how good the relation is!!
Real fun is being in the relation...
dont really think so. like the rain the touch is not lost. its alive, every moment.
have heard this many times...
have always wondered on it myself...
but i guess it is one of those rhetorical ironies of life that will remain un answered.
its very relative, subjective and sircumstantia...
thought 'tickling' post :-)
cheers
rightly so viky :)
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thanks endevourme
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howdu chitra sigh!
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go on rk
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contended,
hmm :-?
oh ya, 7 days up and going gr8 :D
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hmm, true anand!
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Chitra, :)
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//My personal feeling is distance makes you realize the worth of the relation!!!!.... but no point being away and realizying how good the relation is!!
well said bhatta
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mindraga
hmm? interesting!
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Harjee kapur
//its very relative, subjective and sircumstantia...
CLAP CLAP CLAP :)
damm keyboard...
You are true to some extent. I've made a lot of friends easily but there've been many instances where I've got close to someone and we've hung out together very often and suddenly that other person starts seeing flaws in me and vice versa. And with persistence, the contempt only grows.
The only solution is to be frank and tell your friends that there is something about them which irritates you. That way, the other person will either try to avoid doing it or he/she will atleast be aware of your discomfort and will understand any reaction that you might come up with.
Again, the oldest friends, your family and then your school friends are the best you can get and a lucky man is one who can live his entire life around his oldest friends, I guess.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
if the relation ship has a bondage in society by name of one blood realtion it doesnt dilute but if it is a relation of two new people of same sex or opposite it dilutes. My view
harjee kapoor,
hota hai, hota hai ;-)
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guns,
//And with persistence, the contempt only grows.
hmm??? really???
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known stranger,
er.... i guess i dont agree with this!
distance for some time is good but not for long time. as i have seen my pals breaking up often with long distance relationships. very few can sustain it
again space is very imp in nay relationship. the degree of space depends on individual though
When you are too close to a person, you sometimes have a narrow view of the person (which you may not always like). You tend to see only a few points of that person. There are times when you have to distance yourself (call it take time off for yourself) and look at the person as a whole.
There should me some 'space' between people so that even if you stay together you don't fill each others life so much that the other person feels suffocated. I do feel that staying away can dilute a relationship
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